September 22, 2003
At Nana's Funeral Mass
From Kathleen
One sign of a life well-lived is the number people who come to pay their
respects at a funeral. I look out at all of you and realize just how
many people that Florence Ferry touched during her 95 years with us.
In the past few days, I have been thinking a lot about my times with Nana.
This summer, I had the pleasure of stealing special moments with her. Yes,
her mind was fading, but there were seconds when she came back to me. Like
in June, when I played poker with her. When I dealt her a good hand, she'd
keep quiet and put her pairs of Kings together. When she had a bad
hand, she'd say with annoyance "I don't know how the hell to play this
game!" If there was one thing she didn't lose, it was her smarts.
After the 50th game of poker, I started wishing that OG was there with his
special card-shuffler.
One summer night, Nana, Eileen and I were looking through BRIDE magazines
and I pointed out wedding dresses that I liked. She was not at all shy to
voice her opinion on the styles. She did not like the strapless gowns at
all. She shook her head and said "They are SO bare". She liked
the ones that had big long sleeves on them.
She told me that her wedding dress had cost twelve dollars and she borrowed
her veil from her sister Nora. Trying to save a few bucks for myself, I asked
if she still had it around, but she said she didn't know where it was now.
That night, we looked at her wedding picture with Pop and Uncle Johnny and
Aunt Annie and she smiled as I explained who they each were. I had a feeling
then that the end was nearing because she didn't recognize Pop this time.
I thought to myself, there's no way he is going to sit by in heaven and let
her forget HIM!
Us kids used to love going down to visit Nana and Pop. You couldn't top
a summer weekend at the shore. Laura Lee and I always booked our weekends
early. My dad reminded me yesterday that Nana made us earn our weekends by
making us scrub the baseboards. I had forgotten that part of the deal.
I just remember waking up with Laura Lee on the pull-out couch in the living
room hearing Nana shuffling about making tea in the kitchen. Pop would be
sitting in his recliner reading the paper. We'd go to the beach during the
day and then we'd go to Saturday night Mass. Nana always made sure that she
had dollar bills in her purse and she'd give one to me and one to Laura Lee
to put in the basket. Pop was the usher. Somehow it always worked out that
Pop was assigned to the exact aisle we were sitting in. Maybe they worked
that out beforehand.
Then, we'd go back to the house on Poplar and sit on the porch. Mary and
Ed Otto and Helen would stop over and Nana would drink her Brandy Alexander.
Once it started getting dark, me and Laura Lee would hit the boards. Mary
would give us money to bring her back a funnel cake from the boardwalk -
funny that we always had enough change from the funnel cake to spend 3 hours
on the rides and play $20 worth of games. It never failed, I would always
win when I bet on the words "Nana" and "Pop" on the wheel
games. Sometimes I would win on the words "Mom" and "Dad" but
not nearly as much.
Nana's house was always open to anyone and everyone. Maybe she got to be
that way because of her parents. Nana got her name from Florence Collins
- a little Protestant girl who wandered into their house the day Nana was
born. Her mother liked the name "Florence" and so it was.
Not only did Nana and Pop do us all the favor of retiring down at the seashore
- but they also got a house that had an apartment upstairs. That little apartment
with its low ceilings and finicky water pipes housed many a
memory. When we were 13, my friends thought it was so cool that my grandparents
had an apartment where we could stay. Eileen, Erin and Renny lived there
for awhile. Danny and his friends lived there for a summer.
Hmmm...I wonder if they ever had to scrub the baseboards?
I know that you will all miss her now in your own way. But she didn't leave
us alone. She left us each other. She taught us all to be strong and passionate
and she and Pop taught us how to love even when we don't agree.
I am sad today that she left us but I am so very excited for her. Excited
that she can finally dance the polka with Pop again.
I am excited that she gets to see her father and mother and brothers and
sisters and cousins again. They probably had a party up there for her when
she arrived - complete with a Pinochle table and Brandy Alexanders. She's
probably walking alongside Pop right now holding his hand with a colorful
silk kerchief on her head so her hair doesn't get messed up. She is smiling
that bright smile that you all have seen.
They are sharing a pack of Lifesavers.
